Tiling of the Heart

So much to share, but where oh where to begin. Life is a process. It is constantly shifting from order to disorder, from chaos to stillness and then back to chaos again. Unfortunately, due to the ancient reptilian mind we still operate under, we forget the simple Universal law that is always taking us from order to disorder, and then back to order again. Who cares? Because when we are in the midst of the disorder, we often times believe that we’ve officially sunk into a hellhole reality that we will never be able to swim out of. And that is not true. Instead, if we can become aware of this Universal law that chaos turns into stillness and then back to chaos again, when we are in the midst of the seemingly tumultuous reality, it allows for us to take a deeper breath, it gives us just enough space or a big enough gap for the perspective to be seen for what it is rather than believing that we are actually stuck there. This is what I see and experience as I find myself saying out loud, “How can I go from being so high on life, to dropping into what feels like such conflict and resistance?” Last weekend I facilitated the most beautiful gathering of women who came together from around North America. We immediately dropped into a deep, intimate space, which was amazing. We shared our personal vulnerabilities, fears, self-judgments, challenges, negative self talk, how we perceive our precious bodies, what we’d like to call in, set intention for, how we want to bring more balance into our day to day lives. We laughed, we cried, we danced, we used our voices, played with natural oils, herbs, hula hooped (amazing to watch women from their late 30’s to their late 60’s move their gorgeous bodies in this way), ate delicious organic meals each day hand crafted from my soul sister, Theresa Story. We did yoga, meditated and SAW each other for who we truly were. The veils were lifted, the masks taken down, and what emerged was raw, authentic, luscious women who werethere to be loved up, supported, reflected and given the hand of the Divine as she traversed through this new space of self introspection and self knowledge. I was high, fully in my element & more connected than ever. It felt right. We said our goodbyes, we hugged, we kissed, and we bowed our heads in honor and respect for the medicine that each one of us had brought to the weekend. It was magic. My dream come true. Three days later, it all came to a halt. In a split second, it shifted again from order to disorder. Conflict arose. A relationship that is stretching me, teaching me how to communicate with more clarity, teaching me how to ask for what I need in the moment and not ten minutes later, teaching me how to set loving boundaries, this relationship once again confronted and ignited my resistance. And the blissful state of inner stillness, ended. Just like that. Poof. Gone. Back to the chaos. But it felt like an opportunity. To see, would I respond or react? Awareness throughout it all. Watching the states come and go. Not holding on for too long, for as we all know, when we hold on to anything = suffering. And then there it was again, the freedom within the chaos. Space, breath, acceptance of the What Is. And as long as there is no resistance? We too, can have freedom within the chaos. This is the state. To dance freely ~ Sat Nam Catherine

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